Being A Mommy

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*Kasih sayang dari sekecil dua jari Ibu*


Alhamdulillah, it has been 27 days my status changed to another level, becoming a Mommy / Ibu to my lovely daughter, Khayra Binti Hazri who was born on 01.07.2009. I don’t feel like sharing every single moments during my labor as my beloved Husband has wrote everything here, so what I am gonna share here are simple facts about my pregnancy and labor (as some of my expecting friends always ask on tips) :-


a. Kata orang, sakit period pain tu baru 10% daripada sakit nak bersalin;

b. Kata orang, ‘after labor treatment’ lagi sakit dari time sakit nak bersalin;

c. Kata orang, Suami mainkan peranan penting dalam labor room time Isteri nak bersalin;

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1. Yup, I have been gone through all stages as listed a. to c. hereinabove, so what could I say, tu semua betul tapi terpulang atas individu sebab rasa sakit ni lain orang lain la rasanya. Tapi saya percaya setiap apa yang Allah rancangkan itu, ada hikmah disebaliknya as the moment you heard your baby cried, semua kesakitan itu akan hilang serta merta. No need to worry too much on the pains, as for me rasa excited nak 'jumpa' baby mengatasi rasa sakit. Saya kira ini pengalaman terhebat yang pernah saya lalui.

2. Saya bertuah kerana sepanjang berada di wad, labor room and even during the after labor treatment, my Dearest Hubby was there with me. Even suami maybe tak rasa all the pains that we were going through to deliver the baby, but his moral support and/or at least his prayers would minimize all the pains that we were having during the labor.

3. Saya pernah dengar DVD kuliah agama semasa mengandung (Abah pasang dalam Stream time nak pergi family dinner) bahawa seorang isteri adalah lebih elok meminta maaf daripada suaminya sebelum masuk ke bilik bersalin kerana menurut Ustaz tersebut dengan cara itu kesakitan isteri semasa hendak bersalin insyaAllah akan berkurangan. I did that throughout my pregnancy, bila Husband saya di KL (time kami masih PJJ), saya sms Husband saya sebelum tidur, mohon dimaafkan segala salah silap saya dan agar Dia mempermudahkan segala-galanya untuk saya.

4. Pada semua bakal ibu, bacalah doa selusuh, Al-Quran, Yasin dan surah-surah/doa-doa berkaitan dengan pregnancy, solat hajat sebanyak mungkin, they really really help. Dalam labor room ketika saya hendak bersalin memang terpampang doa selusuh and everytime I feel the contractions saya baca doa tersebut, memang membantu. Alhamdulillah!

5. Seorang Aunty saya pernah cakap kat saya yang saya mudah bersalin (fully dilated at 1.30pm, doctor came at 1.45pm and after several pushings, safely delivered at 2.04pm : considered as 'mudah') sebab tak melawan cakap ibu bapa, jadi hormati ibu bapa anda. Macam saya pernah cakap dulu, saya takot kalo tak dengar cakap ibu bapa saya sebab saya rasa mereka ada senses yang kuat, kalo saya ingkar, I will (usually) get the punishment cash on delivery. Ya ampun, saya takot betul.

6. I enjoyed my walking exercise as my prenatal exercise sampai doctor bagi MC 2 hari suruh rest sebab ‘too excessive of walking’. Haha. Mana taknya, naik turun tangga ofis lagi, jalan-jalan ke hulur ke hilir, jalan-jalan petang with the Husband at the recreational park etc. sampai jadi excessive. Heh.

7. Owh, tahu kah anda? Seawal 8 minggu mengetahui saya adalah pregnant, saya telah restricted myself from wearing high heels and you know the reason as well.

8. Berpantang? I hope these 44 days to end as soonest as possible (sebab macam-macam rasa nak makan semua benda tanpa pantang and all, hehe).

9. All in all what could I say here is that, to have the opportunity to become pregnant (and be treated as Princess as well, heh) and to have a normal and safe delivery to my Little Sweetheart, Khayra Binti Hazri (Alhamdulillah, syukur!), is the most precious moment I would cherish so far. I thought by having my foot steps in London few years back was the wonderful moment in my life but then compared to this all new experiences, I would say that this experience beats everything in my lists so far.



To my beloved Khayra, Ibu and Abah love you so much!
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Khayra - On the Day You Were Born

My dearest Khayra,

It all started on 30 June 2009 – as Abah and Ibu were getting up to go to work, at about 6.45 a.m., Ibu informed Abah that she was experiencing mild bleeding. Abah recalled some materials Abah have read regarding such condition and assured Ibu that it was normal and it was a preliminary indication that you will be coming out soon. Abah also reassured myself that unless Ibu is suffering from increased frequency of contractions and/or the water actually breaking, we still had time, especially considering that your delivery was only due on July 7th, 2009. So we decided to go to work… as usual.

Work that day was a normal working day but we did decide that it would be the last day for Ibu and that she would take an MC for the rest of the week until your estimated date of delivery. So, just before lunch we stopped by one of the firm’s panel clinic to ask for an MC but instead of a week, the doctor gave only 2 days – because according to the doctor, Ibu wouldn’t need a long MC – you would be born in the next few days.

So after having lunch that day, Ibu told me that she didn’t want to go back home just yet… she still needed to clear out some urgent work and to brief Abah on the files which Abah was going to take over while Ibu was in confinement. So reluctantly Abah made a deal with Ibu – we go back to the office, she hands over whatever files or work to Abah and Abah would send her back home. However, being both workaholics, we stayed till 5 p.m. that day.

We left the office and went back to Wan’s house. When Wan got to know about the mild bleeding, she insisted that we go for a checkup at the maternity clinic. Reluctantly (as Abah thought Wan was overreacting), we went to Intan Medical Centre at about 8.30 p.m.

After waiting about 15 minutes, we went to see the doctor (at the time, it was Dr. Sheripah) – we informed her about the mild bleeding. After examining Ibu, she said;

Doktor Sheripah: “…dilated 3cm dah ni… masuk ward sekarang la ya…”
Abah: [mouth open but no words could come out]

Ok, at this point of time, Abah couldn’t say a thing – it finally hit me… this is actually going to happen; Abah is actually going to have you as a daughter and that you would have me as a father. It took Abah quite some time to process the information but then Abah thought that if I’m this terrified, Ibu must be 10 times more terrified than me – so Abah needed to focus and help Ibu to get through this. But from that exact moment that Abah finally realized that there was no turning back… By that night or the next day, Abah is going to be a father and nothing can stop or delay it.

As we got out of the examination room, Abah informed the attending nurse that we want a single room – luckily for us (and also for you), the single room was vacant. As Ibu was changing into her ‘maternity’ clothes, consists of a kain batik and a baggy shirt, Abah went to the car to take Ibu’s bag and your baby box – which we had already packed a few weeks back and just left in the car. We called your grandparents and informed them of the situation and we waited…

After settling in, Ibu went to the labour room for the preliminary checkup… the bidan examined your heartbeat and also the Ibu’s blood pressure and temperature… Alhamdulillah everything was fine. Ibu’s blood pressure at the time was 123/84 and the temperature was 36.9c.

This picture was taken unintentionally: your heartbeat at 163… coincidence?

As the bidans were checking and poking Ibu, one of the bidan approached and informed Abah that I had to make a minimum deposit of RM500… in cash.

Abah: “err… kad kredit tak boleh ke kak?”
Bidan: “tak boleh, cash only… hehe”
Abah (dalam hati): “sia-sia je bayar habis bil kredit kad hari tu… sigh…”

Since Abah had no physical cash at the time, Abah had to drive to the nearest Maybank ATM machine, which was in the Giant shopping complex – just about 5 km from the medical centre. Abah asked the Bidan:

Abah: “kalau tak boleh kad kredit, saya kena pergi keluarkan duit dulu ni, kak…”
Bidan: “oh ye ke?”
Abah: “a’ah… sempat tak?”
Bidan: “Sempat… lambat lagi ni…”

So driving 120km/h through the streets of Durian Burung, Abah reached Giant within 5 minutes, made the withdrawal and headed straight back to Intan MC.

By 10 p.m., Wan, Tok Wan and Tok Abah joined us at the medical centre… and all was still well. Ibu was, as Tok Wan put it, “tengoh galok lagi”, meaning; was still in a cheery mood.

After they went back, at about 1.55 a.m., it was time for another regular checkup… Ibu’s BP was 120/81. There was no increase in the dilation so the bidan estimated that your birth would only take place in the afternoon.

We went back to the room (which was not more than 10 steps away from the labour room) and tried to sleep. Ibu couldn’t sleep due to the mild contractions and frequent visits to the toilet. It was also the beginning of sleepless night for Abah as well – the slightest sound made by Ibu practically woke me up.

At 4.13 a.m., Ibu ‘woke’ me up and told me that her water broke – the bidan examined Ibu and informed us that the dilation was now 4cm. From that point of time, the contraction got more intense and was only 3-5 minutes apart.

At 6.40 a.m., the nurse brought in breakfast of Milo and bread for Ibu. At 7.50 a.m., Doktor Sheripah confirmed that the dilation was at 6cm, so four more centimeters to go. Assuming that the opening would be 1cm per hour, the doctor estimated the time of your birth at about noon (4cm = 4 hours; therefore 7.50 a.m. + 4 hours = 11.50 a.m.). The doctor also told us that exercising i.e. walking, would help – so immediately after the checkup, Ibu walked around the centre for about 15 minutes.

As the contraction was getting more and more frequent and painful, Abah felt really helpless – Abah couldn’t do anything to help Ibu with the pain… the only thing Abah could do was pray to Him; please lessen the pain and please, shift the some of the pain, if not all, to Abah… whenever and in whatever form…

At about 9.30 a.m., Ibu was looking very tired and we were worried that she wouldn’t have the energy when the time comes. Tok Wan suggested that Ibu should eat something heavier & filling than bread and Milo. So Tok Abah and Abah went to search for nasi lemak. Ibu forced herself to eat and finished half of the nasi lemak (Abah finished off the remaining half since the last meal Abah had was 7 p.m. the previous day …).

At 10.15 a.m., Ibu went for another checkup – her BP was 111/76 this time. We waited for the doctor (this time it was Dr. Khamsiah) to check the dilation and about 11.50 a.m., the doctor informed us that it was now 8cm – Alhamdulillah, another two more centimeters to go. Abah wanted to suggest that we just walk around and try to speed up the opening but at that point of time, the contraction was getting too frequent and Ibu was enduring a lot of pain.

At about 12.40 p.m., Ibu went into the labour room once more. The bidan checked the dilation and it was now 9cm… only one more centimeter to go. At this point of time, the contractions were even more intense – the bidan told Ibu to start pushing but from sideways; which was to help with the opening.

At 1.30 p.m., Ibu was fully dilated… After about 9 hours of, what Abah can only imagine, excruciating contraction pains, we can finally proceed and put those contractions to good use.

At that time, the doctor was still attending another patient so we had to wait for a while. But the waiting was actually a good thing - the Head Bidan, Kak Yah, and her two assistant bidans, took that opportunity to coach Ibu the effective ‘pushing’ techniques.

After 10 minutes, Dr. Khamsiah came through the door (of the labour room, which is connected to the doctor’s office) and started preparing to deliver the baby. At about 1.45 p.m., with the doctor’s lead, Ibu started to push simultaneously with every contraction she experienced. Seven things I learnt from the ‘pushing’ that day:

• One, make sure that Ibu pushes when there are contractions – pushing when there are no contractions only make her tire easily;
• Two, when the contractions come, make sure that Ibu take a very deep breath and hold while pushing;
• Three, during the pushing, Ibu’s head must rise in a position where the chin meets the upper chest and eyes towards the doctor;
• Four, during the pushing, Ibu’s hands (both of them) must be placed at the respective upper-thighs, just beneath the buttocks;
• Five, remind Ibu to relax while spreading her legs because it is a common reaction to tense up each time the contractions are felt;
• Six, after each pushing, make sure that Ibu releases her breath slowly and avoid letting it out suddenly – this is to avoid your head going back inside; and lastly
• Seven, always talk to Ibu during the push and between the ‘contraction-breaks’ – give her the moral support and words of confidence that she needs during the process.

After about 3 to 4 pushes, Abah heard you crying, I peeked behind the sheets and I saw you for the first time. You were this slimy, beautiful thing. As Abah noticed your ‘va-jey-jey’, Abah told Ibu – “it’s a girl…”.

At 2.04 p.m. on 1st July 2009 (8 Rejab 1430H) (Wednesday),
KHAYRA BINTI HAZRI
was safely born,
weighing at 3.2 kg and 53 cm in height

As Abah saw the doctor cut your umbilical cord, Kak Yah (the Head Bidan) lifted you up and showed you to Ibu;

Kak Yah: “Nampak tak… Nampak tak..?”

Ibu: [just nodded tiredly]

Kak Yah: “Nampak tak apa tu?" [pointing down south]
Ibu: “Baby girl…”

Then she took you and cleaned you up by pumping out all the liquid through your nose and mouth. Suddenly Abah heard one of the assistant bidan said;

Asst. Bidan: “Eh dah berak dah…”
Abah: “Hehe… baru-baru keluar dah berak dah? Tengah-tengah orang bersihkan pulak tu…”

As the Assistant Bidan replaced the stained sheet with a clean one, you surprised us with another present;

Asst. Bidan: “Laaa… kencing pulak…”
Abah: “Hahahaha… lama dia tahan tu kot, kak…”

While the assistant bidan was looking for a clean sheet (once again), Abah secretly took some photos of you, while at the same time, carried out the request by Ibu to count all the fingers and toes – all accounted for, Alhamdulillah.

After you were bundled up with a clean sheet, the assistant bidan said;

Asst. Bidan: “Ayah dia azan la ye…”
Abah: “A’ah… kat sini ke Kak?”
Asst. Bidan: “Azan dalam bilik ward la…”

So, Abah extra carefully carried you to the ward room. As we entered the room, everyone came to see the new addition to the family … Wan and Tok Wan were the first, next Tok Abah and Ki, then Tok Mami and Wawan, and finally Tok Mi.

Then facing the kiblat, Abah whispered azan to your right ear and iqamat to your left ear – Abah also recited a doa Ibu told me about. The doa, Abah whispered to your right ear goes something like this: “Bahawasanya, aku pohon perlindungan Engkau (Ya Allah) diri anak ini dan zuriat keturunannya kelak daripada tipu daya syaitan.”

Abah then passed you to your grandmothers, so that I can check up on Ibu, who at that time was still in the labour room for ‘after-labour’ treatments. Although leaving you at that time was very difficult, I had to accompany Ibu, who was tired from the delivering you. But I know that I was leaving you with the safest hands. Anyway, when Abah was with Ibu, Tok Abah gave you a taste of kurma and air zam-zam as part of the “Tahnik” or “belah mulut”. Abah can see that you really enjoyed the taste seeing that you actually wanted to swallow the whole kurma…

Abah then took out my handphone and Ibu’s handphone and started sending SMSs (which we actually prepared the previous day) to our family and friends. Within seconds, Abah’s and Ibu’s handphones received replies from practically everyone, congratulating us on your arrival. A lot of people adored your name… Khayra. As you may already know, your name, in Arabic (Kho Ya Ro Alif) means “kebaikan” (thanks to Uncle Shukri and Uncle Fahmi for confirming the meaning). So both Abah and Ibu hope that every time someone calls out your name, it is a doa to you to inherit the trait that comes with the meaning of your name.

So Khayra, that was what happened the day you were born … it was indeed tiring for me (… and I’m not the one who was in labour) but when Abah heard you cry for that first time, all that exhaustion – gone… dissapeared. Abah will never forget the day you were born and I want you to know that Abah and Ibu love you very, very, very much and we are honoured to have you as our daughter.

Lots of love,
Abah

Khayra means Kebaikan (Surah Al Imran: 110)

Our hearts are filled with happiness,
Our lives are filled with love,
because we have the baby girl,
that we've been dreaming of...

KHAYRA BINTI HAZRI
born on July 1, 2009
at 2:04 pm

The bassinet is ready,

The time has come,

We hope you'll stop and visit,

Our precious little one...!